Don't assume!

I can tell you that I am sort of glad that we have not been in the ministry all of our married life...I might be a hardened bitter old lady by now! :) I remember years ago talking with one of my friends who is a ministers wife....we were talking about how much we loved the thrift store and we were swapping thrift store find stories. She told me that she found a Dooney and Bourke handbag for $4.50...this particular one was regular $200....she loved it! She carried it to church one Sunday and someone recognized the brand.....I personally wouldn't know the difference.....anyway....this person said......"Love the purse....Guess I need to get a job at the church so I can afford something that nice" my friend quickly told her about the thrift store but never carried it again because she said she felt like she needed to wear a sign that said "thrift store find....don't judge me"

It was so nuts but it made me evaluate the way I look at others....was I guilty of judging when I didn't know all the facts..probably!

Now fast forward ans we have been in the ministry for almost 4 years and I am on the receiving end of that judgement! It is very difficult. There certainly are those who give the rest of us a bad name....those who take money for ministry and live in utter extravagance....but when you live very frugally and make huge sacrifices all the time, it is so hard to have every move analyzed! I really do feel like I need to constantly explain our every move. If you have a question about how we spend our time or resources....come and ask us....do not make comments to others and do not make jabbing comments to us...just ask...I'll tell ya!!!! Don't assume cause you may just be really really wrong!

Poor man's Rice Pudding

I grew up in an amazing family. My parents had very little money especially when I was little but we never really new it. I can remember my mom cooking eggs and giving each of us girls 1/2 of a piece of bacon and she would give my daddy a whole piece. We had a garden and we ate out of it everyday..my mom canned veggies all summer so that we would have them in the winter. We ate rice at many meals..I didn't know that was because it was so cheap! :) One of our favorite treats on a night that we had rice was to take a small bowl of left over rice...put a pat of butter in it and sprinkle with sugar. We thought it was a big deal because we never had dessert so it was a treat. I still like to have a bit whenever I make rice...just for fun! Thank you mama and daddy for always making us feel special!

Our Great Marriage!

Want to know why our marriage works? There are lots or reasons but the single biggest word that I can think of is intentionality! It does not just happen effortlessly!

We intentionally pray together!
We intentionally pray for each other!
We intentionally encourage each other!
We intentionally praise each other!
We intentionally brag on each other!
We intentionally go on dates and make time for one another!
We intentionally dream together!
We intentionally hold hands!
We intentionally tell each other how much we love them!
We intentionally share our fears!
We intentionally share in each others interests!
We intentionally give each other compliments!

I could go on and on! But you get the picture..we work at our marriage! It is easy to get busy and let the work slide and that is when we find ourselves in a marriage that is not amazing! I woke up a few mornings ago to the notes on my mirror shaped in a heart in the picture above. They say things like....I love you...My heart still races when you walk in the room....You are Beautiful..You are a great Mom...

Now that my friends is intentionality!!!

Blessings keep coming!

This picture makes me laugh! My boys wanted to take a photo to make it look like they were not wearing a suit! Boys are so funny and different! Love my boys!

I have so many blessings! My amazing family is such a blessing! Salvation...beyond amazing!

I wanted to give you guys an update on the ministry. We have been so very overwhelmed lately. There are still many things that I just do not understand! We still have many needs especially stuff here at the house....things that have been put on hold year after year because we have not been paid. It seems like so many times the Lord allows us to get right to the edge...and then He swoops in....it is a VERY exhilarating place to be to see God work is is at the same time a frightening place to be....sort of like six flags....the scarier the better! :)

We have continued to get paid every week albeit late most weeks...still I have paid all of our personal bills on time. Well on the 29th of July I told Eric that we needed $2000 before the 31st to pay our salary, payroll taxes, health insurance, cell phone bill and another small bill for the ministry. That was at 9:00 am....at 11:00 am a man called Eric and asked Eric to forgive him....he said that God had laid us o his heart months ago and that he just kept forgetting to bring by a check. The check was for MORE than we needed by the 31st. It was so neat to see how the Lord had already started the process of the provision months before we actually needed it!

Eric is asking the Lord for 50 schools to speak in on top of the other commitments that he has. He is already getting many calls and we are so excited about that! I am speaking more this year as well. I LOVE to speak to women of any age but especially to women who are just starting off with their families...it is so awesome to encourage them as they are raising their babies!

I love ya'll! Please keep us in your prayers.....I know that the enemy loves to discourage and frustrate us and I want to be all that the Lord wants us to be!

Bus Stop

Lindsey and I ventured out on our first ever public bus ride. She wanted to shop a little this afternoon. She keeps me laughing and this is an example of her off the cuff.

AMTC Saturday

Below are some random photos..for your enjoyment. Our long walk. The beverages we have enjoyed this week! Me looking at an incredibility busy schedule. Lindsey looking cute as usual! Tomorrow is the big day for speed networking with the agents and managers..pray for us! And for those of you praying for the ministry....Eric spoke this morning at a mens prayer breakfast and a 60 year old man who is the father of one of his HS buddies was saved! He also had the joy of leading his cousin to Jesus while he was here visiting! And we got paid this week! :)

AMTC Thursday

Ok...so as you know we ended up leaving the Gaylord...for a little step down...to the Super 8.....The lady and her daughter who were supposed to room with us...left to be with someone else in a free condo....which is all fine except we do not have a vehicle. She assured us that she would come and get us and take us back to the hotel and she has a few times but she runs late and we do not like to be late.....so we have been walking...it is about 1 1/2 miles..which isn't bad but in Orlando in July...need I say more?

Now for the great part! Today as we were walking and sweating...for the 3rd time..Lindsey and I had an amazing conversation about how far people in other countries walk to hear the gospel and how this is an acting competition for pete's sake! Lindsey also told me about how she has been praying that the Lord would help her to remain humble through all of this and believe me this is an atmosphere full of egos. She told me that she is glad we were walking because it has built character and what satan probably meant for evil..the Lord meant for good! Worth it..you bet!!

Blessings part 2

Let me first back-up 30 years ago...I was a freshman in HS..yep that makes me 44..I was a bold witness for Jesus even then....and as the Lord would have it I was assigned a seat next to a guy that I had never met before named Richy...it was first semester of freshman year. It didn't take long before I was talking to him about his faith. He quickly informed me that he was atheist..gasp...I had never actually met an atheist..Oh boy...I was so excited for the challenge!

We became fast friends....who would have thought...complete polar opposites....he respected me greatly....I found him to be a true friend....sadly more of a friend than some of my "Christian" friends at times! We have always kept in touch over the years. He has a sweet wife and precious little girl and he travels all over the world designing and building golf courses. I am very proud of him...still quite lost...I'm still praying for him 30 years later. I know that the Lord had a perfect plan 30 years ago in assigned seating!

OK now back to AMTC...I had asked the question on facebook.....did anyone know a site that I could bid on last min. plane tickets..I got lots of response and tips. But one was from my HS friend....."when are you going, returning and how many tickets" long story...he bought Lindsey and I round trip tickets! What a blessing! I was thrilled...Lindsey was blown away! There have been so many God stories relating to answered prayer and AMTC.

Please continue to pray for the ministry...as of today we do not have health insurance...we had to make a decision either to pay our bills and buy groceries or pay the huge premium for insurance. I have to trust the Lord...but it is hard sometimes! Actually we technically are covered for 30 days.....so you never know what might change!

Blessings

Well it is now less than a week until Lindsey leaves to go to AMTC.....she is so excited and I am excited for her and for time to be with her! She is so gifted and she is already using her gifts. She loves to use drama to reach others whether she is in the drama or writing and directing it for middle school.

She has worked for the past 5 months to save every dime that she earned toward going to AMTC. We have helped and so have grandparents. We got it all except for the travel. So we sent out 200 fliers to local businesses as AMTC recommended....not a single response??!!! This wouldn't be so bad but the postage alone could have paid for gas there! So we began to pray! Lindsey was so sweet about it...she would say, "Lord you have opened EVERY door so far..I am trusting that if you want me there you will continue to open doors and if this is the end...help me to see your hand."

One of Lindsey's good friends gave her an envelope and basically told her that while she was sitting in church the Lord had challenged her to give Lindsey her babysitting money from the summer? She went on to give an amazing testimony about how talented she thinks Lindsey is and how Lindsey has always stood for what is right and she thinks that the Lord is going to use her and she wanted to be a part of making that happen. What teenager does that??? The one's who are all about more than themselves!!

We were planing on driving Eric's car down...now let me just tell you why I dreaded this....I hate to drive! Especially 8 hours!!! Both mine and Eric's cars are high mileage and Eric was worried about such a long trip. His car's shocks are gone so I was worried about a headache? My car is in a little better shape but it gets 12 miles to the gallon..yep you saw that correctly. We couldn't afford a rental so off we were prepared to go. Someone told me that I might try bidding on a flight. Sometimes the airlines will try to fill the plane at the last min. but I couldn't find the site so I asked if anyone on facebook knew where I could find the site.....you will have to tune in later to hear what the Lord did!!! :)

Snacks

I LOVE frozen blueberries! I buy them now when they are on sale...wash and freeze them in a freezer bag. They are great in smoothies or put a hand full in yogurt but I love to grab a handful at night or anytime I need a snack. They are so good! So sweet and such a great snack. Enjoy!

By the way...enough money trickled in for us to get paid last week. Not enough for this week..but the week isn't over yet :)

Update on Ministry

Yes...Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for asking and for praying! Yes the money finally did trickle in so that we were able to get a paycheck for last week...about 5 days late. We did not get paid yesterday and we do not foresee getting paid next week or being able to pay our health insurance. It is all very frustrating! Wish I knew what GOd was up to. I want to have faith like Mueller and the Bible says that it is a small as a mustard seed which only makes me feel more discouraged...a mustard seed is VERY small and apparently I do not even have that much ??? :/ Please keep us in your prayers! I am not in this place of dispare...well hardly ever!

On a better note....Lindsey's did get enough money from her babysitting to pay for AMTC! We are very excited about going!!!! I am so grateful to get to spend this week with her and watch her do what God has blessed her to do!

Friday

Thank you all for emails and even phone calls of encouragement. Today is Friday and we were not paid. Eric will have to make a decision tomorrow. All I can really say right now is that I do not understand! Eric spent the whole week mentoring kids and then today speaking to over 200 young men at a basketball camp where 17 kids trusted Christ...God is using him!!!! There are many things running through my head right now...most of them I feel like I am not supposed to verbalize but I will say...It is EASY to have faith and trust the Lord when you are getting paid in ministry....It is not so easy right now...for me anyway. After 3 1/2 years of this...I am VERY weary!

I love you all very much and appreciate your prayers and concerns!

Please pray for us!

Hello my sweet friends. I need your prayers!!

I have always handled our finances. We have been married for 20 years and this has always been my job. Money..or the lack there of has always stressed Eric out...so I took that job. I do not have regret about doing the finances but I will tell you that I fed a beast! I knew that Eric would get frustrated easily and I would rob peter to pay paul many times over the years. Eric knew that we were tight and he is NOT a spender nor am I but when something would come up..like a car repair..instead of telling him that we didn't have the money and letting him... as God appointed head of our home..figure it out..I would come up with all kinds of creative ways to make iy work. I have even sold things that were precious to me just to get extra money. This was soooo wrong of me....I wanted to protect him but that was not my job!!!

About 4 years ago we had a "come to Jesus meeting"...if don't know that term it means I showed up in his office one day and had a breakdown...apologized for taking on the role of protector and then laid it all out on the table. He was great and we decided that I would still handle the books but that he would make all the decisions and he would figure out how to get "extra" money for things that came up.

Well wouldn't you know it...we started DTEM 3 years ago...we couldn't even pay our bills much less hire a secretary so guess who has handled the finances...ME! Eric has been involved all the way but it is me who looks at it EVERY DAY for the past 3 years. I went to Eric 3 months ago and said, "I can't do this anymore. I am so weary about worrying over money. I will handle personal money but you have to take DTEM books....just pay us and if you can't pay us then you tell me what to do."

He gladly took it and I am in the process of teaching him. Which means that I still have to look at it everyday!! Well as of next week we will have to go to half pay. I can't even express to you how heavy this is for me....it is so hard to enjoy ministry when you always have to cut every corner! I hate money! I hate that I allow the enemy to steal my joy. Please pray for me!!! Please pray for Eric....he has never had to handle this stuff before! Please pray that the Lord would give us understanding....he has placed so many dreams to reach the lost here and all over the world but the bottom line is that it takes money for this to happen! I love you guys so much! Thanks for praying on our behalf!

How we got started in the ministry.

I love to tell our story. It is a story about how the Lord grew our faith, but I have been reluctant to write about it....why....because sometimes it is hard for me to convey tone in written word. So let me start off by saying this....EVERYTHING that resembles faith in our lives is from the Lord.....this is not a story about how awesome Eric and Michele Helms are...on the contrary....it is a story about the Lords faithfulness. I also want to say that there are so many who have sacrificed SOOOO much. Many have literally given their lives for Christ and many many missionaries have given up all their "worldly" goods to go and serve the Lord in countries of great poverty or persecution....in comparison.....we have NO sacrifice!

I started thinking that the Lord was calling Eric into ministry about 6 years ago....I didn't say anything because you have to be God called and not mama or wife called! 5 years ago Eric started expressing, much to his disbelief, he thought the Lord was calling him to some type of ministry. Now don't misunderstand.....he wanted to serve he just couldn't believe that the Lord would use him...he felt very unworthy....at the time he had been saved for 16 years out of a life of being a "thug"....as he describes himself....It took almost 9 months before Eric surrendered to the call to serve full time.

Oddly enough I thought that he would surrender and then suddenly all these doors would open....that is not the way that it happened....I will blog on that another time....needless to say my type A personality was put to the test!!!

While we were not sure exactly what the Lord wanted us to do...we knew what we were not supposed to do.....we did begin to pray that the Lord would make our path clear. While Eric continued to work his full time job in the corporate world we started getting everything ready....we decided on a name...Driven to Encourage Ministries...and we started getting all the legal stuff in order. It was a HUGE amount of research and work...but all along the way the Lord brought just what we needed to get the task accomplished!

We then started praying about how we were going to pay the bills......again my plans were very different than the Lords....His way required much more faith and dependence on Him???? Funny how He is about that??? Eric has such an awesome captivating testimony...I thought that churches would start calling wanting him to come and share with their people and we would get paid for that....but that was not the plan for us....God started opening doors slowly for Eric to mentor young men..which he loves...and also he started having the opportunity to share his testimony to some really small youth groups and Bible studies.....there was NO money coming in and Eric was still working his full time job. We both knew that he was supposed to quit....our only debt is our house and it has quite a bit of equity but it is small...with a small payment...we couldn't rent cheaper...so we didn't feel that we were supposed to sell it but we did entertain that thought.

After much much prayer...we decided to move all our retirement money over to an account that we could use.....it was not very large but after taxes and penalties we knew we could live on it for 18 months or longer if other money came in....so Eric put in his notice...............more tomorrow!

Modesty Part B

If you are reading this one for the first time you might want to scroll down and read the part A......on to my thoughts:

*What are some guidelines that we have given our girls

1. If you lean forward and someone can see down your shirt you might want to reconsider...this has happened to many of us even if we are covered appropriately....yes this even happened to me...with my pastor??????? not even joking....I leaned over to tell him and his wife something and he jumped up really fast and I thought that was odd.....didn't hit me until later that I had given them both the full view...bless their hearts??? Probably scarred him for life!!! :(
2. If you bend over and I can see your underwear....enough said!
3. If you raise your hands and your whole mid section shows...you might want something longer....this can be remedied by wearing a longer shirt...like a tank...underneath.
4. Because many computers screen our certain words...I am going to call the top area B...catch my drift? Seriously I can't believe that this even needs to be said but seeing what I see in CHURCH from teenagers and MOTHERS!!! Please do not show your B's...even if you are small chested....if your dress or blouse is low cut IT IS INAPPROPRIATE! When the Bible says "and her B's shall satisfy him"....it tells us two things...first...they are powerful! 2nd they are for "her husband"!!!! Why do we think that dressing pretty and feminine = sexy?????
5. Ask yourself the question..."Am I totally cool wearing what I am wearing if Jesus in the flesh walks up?".....He really is here you know?
6. At my house we love boys tank tops....they are longer and higher....my girls use them under all kinds of shirts that might not otherwise be acceptable...like something low cut or strapless.
7. Again can't believe that this needs to be said....but if a word or saying is written across the bottom or across a tight shirt...where do you think the attention is supposed to go? Why do we think this is cute???

Lastly....and this may seem contrary to all the other things that I have said....don't be judgmental....why...glad you asked!

1.How many times have you realized after you were out that something was a little too short or lower than you realized....certainly that has happened to most of us and especially to a young growing girl who's body is changing quickly. This should be an ut-oh moment and not an ongoing issue :)
2.Our standards may be different...for instance we let our 16 year old wear a spaghetti strap dress to her formal dance....it met our standards of not being low but you may totally disagree and think that showing shoulder is too much. There will always be differences in what each family does...and that is ok....in the end I am responsible and will have to answer for my kids and not yours.
3.This last one is really just for Christians.....we tend to put more emphasis on the outer than the inner.....there may be a young lady or woman who isn't saved or is a young Christian....maybe she has always thought that to get attention from a man she needed to dress provocatively...you need to be patient and understanding! You need to busy yourself with helping clean the inside first.

I would LOVE your feedback!

Modesty part A

When I start to write a new post I always try to think about how to write something so that it doesn't come across judgmental...but I'm just going to tell you...I'm not a "fluff" kind of gal! I like the straight forward direct approach. I have learned some grace over the years...a little??? I have also learned to try really hard NOT to give my opinion about a subject in every conversation and I have also learned over the years that just because someone asks for my opinion.....they might not really want to hear it. These days if someone asks for my thoughts on a subject that I KNOW is going to be directly opposed to theirs...I will say something like, "Are you sure you want to hear what I think?"

I get emails with lots of subjects that bring this kind of controversy.One such subject is what we allow our daughters to wear...how do we handle modesty....so if you don't want my opinion you should skip on right now to the next blog. :) I will start off by saying that for this post I am not talking about gothic/dark clothing. While it certainly is not immodest for the most part....it does many times reveal deeper issues that should be addressed. So when I am talking about style...I am NOT talking about this dark sinister fashion that is going on today.

I do better in short bursts so here goes!

*Modesty starts young...do not let your 4 year old dress like a hoochie mama (do ya'll know what that is?) It is hard to let them dress a certain way and then suddenly change that when they get older?

*Let your girls have their own style. Your girls do not need to have YOUR fashion sense. You don't even have to like it??? Really you don't! Example...One of my daughters is a fashion queen....and she puts the strangest things....colors, jewelry, layers of clothes.....together. I do not always like it..not because it is immodest but because it just isn't my style.....but it doesn't matter...she likes it and feels good about herself!

* We have taught our girls that God made their bodies and that they are beautiful! We have also taught them that boys are sight creatures and that when you dress in such a manor as to "show off the goods"...you are making it so much harder for them to lead a life of purity. I want them to show themselves freely to their husbands one day.....but not to everyone else along the way!

*What you wear says something about you! Like it or not! It may not be "truth" but it does make a statement! If every time you saw me I had a basketball uniform on....you would probably conclude that I play or like basketball.....of which neither is true...but it would be a logical assumption! If you were going into an interview for an executive position and you were over the top qualified....you would not stroll in with greasy hair, flip flops, shorts and a tank top.....why....because even though you may be qualified....people make an assumption based on how you look!!! Why can we see this in ALL other areas of life but not in this one????? Moms will say "she just feels pretty dressed this way....she doesn't mean anything by it" or.... my all time favorite...."The boys should learn to control themselves"

Well my response to that is bless your heart! OK this is getting to long but I still have much to say.....so I will do a part B tomorrow!

OH BOY!!

Yep that is my girl....she LOVES those horses!

I bought a boat load of chicken on sale....tonight I pounded it...to make it nice and thin...marinated and grilled it all. We ate chicken sandwiches tonight...served with all the fixings and instead of chips or french fries I served baked potatoes and raw carrots, cucumbers and celery (of course with a little lite ranch:) After the chicken was pounded it was thin enough to cut in half diagonally and make 2 sandwiches out of each. Usually I would use the rest to put on a big salad but I am going to try something different.....I post tomorrow about it!

Boys

I will miss these things when they are gone! I also routinely find these men in my bathroom towel rack. They are too young to read a magazine so I guess they play with men to pass the time! :)

Rebellion????

Have you ever been guilty of viewing your child's different views as rebellion? I have! I had to learn some time ago to view things through the lens of...is this sinful? I will give you an example...My very nice looking son....(just my opinion:))...would look really nice in khakis and a polo shirt every week for church. He prefers shorts and a t-shirt.....while I do not find t shirts and shorts sinful....I also do not find bathing suits and pajamas sinful either but he can't wear them to church...but....at our church it is very common for the kids to dress down so after talking we came to a compromise...he wears nice shorts and a polo or a nice t-shirt...the kind without holes or writing on them. :)

I do not think that his wanting to wear shorts to our church shows a lack of character....but I so think that if I am ALWAYS pushing my way as the only way...I will push him away.....so is his wanting to wear shorts a sign of rebellion..NO it is just a style preference...but I could make it all about rebellion if I wanted to....I don't think that would be pleasing to the Lord.....within reason I don't think the Lord really cares what we wear as much as He wants us to live a life of holiness? If we spent the same amount of effort teaching our kids to...love the Lord your God with all your heart...as we do complaining about all the style choices they make....we would see a difference in our kids!

Remember I said is it sinful.....I will absolutely stand my ground on immoral, sinful or disrespectful issues! Love those babies!!!!!