If you are reading this one for the first time you might want to scroll down and read the part A......on to my thoughts:
*What are some guidelines that we have given our girls
1. If you lean forward and someone can see down your shirt you might want to reconsider...this has happened to many of us even if we are covered appropriately....yes this even happened to me...with my pastor??????? not even joking....I leaned over to tell him and his wife something and he jumped up really fast and I thought that was odd.....didn't hit me until later that I had given them both the full view...bless their hearts??? Probably scarred him for life!!! :(
2. If you bend over and I can see your underwear....enough said!
3. If you raise your hands and your whole mid section shows...you might want something longer....this can be remedied by wearing a longer shirt...like a tank...underneath.
4. Because many computers screen our certain words...I am going to call the top area B...catch my drift? Seriously I can't believe that this even needs to be said but seeing what I see in CHURCH from teenagers and MOTHERS!!! Please do not show your B's...even if you are small chested....if your dress or blouse is low cut IT IS INAPPROPRIATE! When the Bible says "and her B's shall satisfy him"....it tells us two things...first...they are powerful! 2nd they are for "her husband"!!!! Why do we think that dressing pretty and feminine = sexy?????
5. Ask yourself the question..."Am I totally cool wearing what I am wearing if Jesus in the flesh walks up?".....He really is here you know?
6. At my house we love boys tank tops....they are longer and higher....my girls use them under all kinds of shirts that might not otherwise be acceptable...like something low cut or strapless.
7. Again can't believe that this needs to be said....but if a word or saying is written across the bottom or across a tight shirt...where do you think the attention is supposed to go? Why do we think this is cute???
Lastly....and this may seem contrary to all the other things that I have said....don't be judgmental....why...glad you asked!
1.How many times have you realized after you were out that something was a little too short or lower than you realized....certainly that has happened to most of us and especially to a young growing girl who's body is changing quickly. This should be an ut-oh moment and not an ongoing issue :)
2.Our standards may be different...for instance we let our 16 year old wear a spaghetti strap dress to her formal dance....it met our standards of not being low but you may totally disagree and think that showing shoulder is too much. There will always be differences in what each family does...and that is ok....in the end I am responsible and will have to answer for my kids and not yours.
3.This last one is really just for Christians.....we tend to put more emphasis on the outer than the inner.....there may be a young lady or woman who isn't saved or is a young Christian....maybe she has always thought that to get attention from a man she needed to dress provocatively...you need to be patient and understanding! You need to busy yourself with helping clean the inside first.
I would LOVE your feedback!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Modesty part A
When I start to write a new post I always try to think about how to write something so that it doesn't come across judgmental...but I'm just going to tell you...I'm not a "fluff" kind of gal! I like the straight forward direct approach. I have learned some grace over the years...a little??? I have also learned to try really hard NOT to give my opinion about a subject in every conversation and I have also learned over the years that just because someone asks for my opinion.....they might not really want to hear it. These days if someone asks for my thoughts on a subject that I KNOW is going to be directly opposed to theirs...I will say something like, "Are you sure you want to hear what I think?"
I get emails with lots of subjects that bring this kind of controversy.One such subject is what we allow our daughters to wear...how do we handle modesty....so if you don't want my opinion you should skip on right now to the next blog. :) I will start off by saying that for this post I am not talking about gothic/dark clothing. While it certainly is not immodest for the most part....it does many times reveal deeper issues that should be addressed. So when I am talking about style...I am NOT talking about this dark sinister fashion that is going on today.
I do better in short bursts so here goes!
*Modesty starts young...do not let your 4 year old dress like a hoochie mama (do ya'll know what that is?) It is hard to let them dress a certain way and then suddenly change that when they get older?
*Let your girls have their own style. Your girls do not need to have YOUR fashion sense. You don't even have to like it??? Really you don't! Example...One of my daughters is a fashion queen....and she puts the strangest things....colors, jewelry, layers of clothes.....together. I do not always like it..not because it is immodest but because it just isn't my style.....but it doesn't matter...she likes it and feels good about herself!
* We have taught our girls that God made their bodies and that they are beautiful! We have also taught them that boys are sight creatures and that when you dress in such a manor as to "show off the goods"...you are making it so much harder for them to lead a life of purity. I want them to show themselves freely to their husbands one day.....but not to everyone else along the way!
*What you wear says something about you! Like it or not! It may not be "truth" but it does make a statement! If every time you saw me I had a basketball uniform on....you would probably conclude that I play or like basketball.....of which neither is true...but it would be a logical assumption! If you were going into an interview for an executive position and you were over the top qualified....you would not stroll in with greasy hair, flip flops, shorts and a tank top.....why....because even though you may be qualified....people make an assumption based on how you look!!! Why can we see this in ALL other areas of life but not in this one????? Moms will say "she just feels pretty dressed this way....she doesn't mean anything by it" or.... my all time favorite...."The boys should learn to control themselves"
Well my response to that is bless your heart! OK this is getting to long but I still have much to say.....so I will do a part B tomorrow!
I get emails with lots of subjects that bring this kind of controversy.One such subject is what we allow our daughters to wear...how do we handle modesty....so if you don't want my opinion you should skip on right now to the next blog. :) I will start off by saying that for this post I am not talking about gothic/dark clothing. While it certainly is not immodest for the most part....it does many times reveal deeper issues that should be addressed. So when I am talking about style...I am NOT talking about this dark sinister fashion that is going on today.
I do better in short bursts so here goes!
*Modesty starts young...do not let your 4 year old dress like a hoochie mama (do ya'll know what that is?) It is hard to let them dress a certain way and then suddenly change that when they get older?
*Let your girls have their own style. Your girls do not need to have YOUR fashion sense. You don't even have to like it??? Really you don't! Example...One of my daughters is a fashion queen....and she puts the strangest things....colors, jewelry, layers of clothes.....together. I do not always like it..not because it is immodest but because it just isn't my style.....but it doesn't matter...she likes it and feels good about herself!
* We have taught our girls that God made their bodies and that they are beautiful! We have also taught them that boys are sight creatures and that when you dress in such a manor as to "show off the goods"...you are making it so much harder for them to lead a life of purity. I want them to show themselves freely to their husbands one day.....but not to everyone else along the way!
*What you wear says something about you! Like it or not! It may not be "truth" but it does make a statement! If every time you saw me I had a basketball uniform on....you would probably conclude that I play or like basketball.....of which neither is true...but it would be a logical assumption! If you were going into an interview for an executive position and you were over the top qualified....you would not stroll in with greasy hair, flip flops, shorts and a tank top.....why....because even though you may be qualified....people make an assumption based on how you look!!! Why can we see this in ALL other areas of life but not in this one????? Moms will say "she just feels pretty dressed this way....she doesn't mean anything by it" or.... my all time favorite...."The boys should learn to control themselves"
Well my response to that is bless your heart! OK this is getting to long but I still have much to say.....so I will do a part B tomorrow!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Beautiful Baby is growing up!
Lindsey had a great time at her prom last weekend...she was joined by her friends and her cousins. They all got ready at my moms house...she prepared a wonderful lunch and snacks for them....Lindsey did all the girls hair...she loves doing that! Then off to the dance....after the last dance with her daddy they all headed to Steak and Shake for a late night meal and much laughter and goofing around. Fun times!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
prom
This is a picture of Lindsey...16 with her daddy. The last dance of the prom is reserved for parents and their children. I love my man so much! I love that Lindsey loves and respects him so much! I don't know why the picture is cut off?? :(
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I bought a boat load of chicken on sale....tonight I pounded it...to make it nice and thin...marinated and grilled it all. We ate chicken sandwiches tonight...served with all the fixings and instead of chips or french fries I served baked potatoes and raw carrots, cucumbers and celery (of course with a little lite ranch:) After the chicken was pounded it was thin enough to cut in half diagonally and make 2 sandwiches out of each. Usually I would use the rest to put on a big salad but I am going to try something different.....I post tomorrow about it!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Boys
I will miss these things when they are gone! I also routinely find these men in my bathroom towel rack. They are too young to read a magazine so I guess they play with men to pass the time! :)
Rebellion????
Have you ever been guilty of viewing your child's different views as rebellion? I have! I had to learn some time ago to view things through the lens of...is this sinful? I will give you an example...My very nice looking son....(just my opinion:))...would look really nice in khakis and a polo shirt every week for church. He prefers shorts and a t-shirt.....while I do not find t shirts and shorts sinful....I also do not find bathing suits and pajamas sinful either but he can't wear them to church...but....at our church it is very common for the kids to dress down so after talking we came to a compromise...he wears nice shorts and a polo or a nice t-shirt...the kind without holes or writing on them. :)
I do not think that his wanting to wear shorts to our church shows a lack of character....but I so think that if I am ALWAYS pushing my way as the only way...I will push him away.....so is his wanting to wear shorts a sign of rebellion..NO it is just a style preference...but I could make it all about rebellion if I wanted to....I don't think that would be pleasing to the Lord.....within reason I don't think the Lord really cares what we wear as much as He wants us to live a life of holiness? If we spent the same amount of effort teaching our kids to...love the Lord your God with all your heart...as we do complaining about all the style choices they make....we would see a difference in our kids!
Remember I said is it sinful.....I will absolutely stand my ground on immoral, sinful or disrespectful issues! Love those babies!!!!!
I do not think that his wanting to wear shorts to our church shows a lack of character....but I so think that if I am ALWAYS pushing my way as the only way...I will push him away.....so is his wanting to wear shorts a sign of rebellion..NO it is just a style preference...but I could make it all about rebellion if I wanted to....I don't think that would be pleasing to the Lord.....within reason I don't think the Lord really cares what we wear as much as He wants us to live a life of holiness? If we spent the same amount of effort teaching our kids to...love the Lord your God with all your heart...as we do complaining about all the style choices they make....we would see a difference in our kids!
Remember I said is it sinful.....I will absolutely stand my ground on immoral, sinful or disrespectful issues! Love those babies!!!!!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Apple Crisp
Something funky is going on with my Blog...all my pictures are in html form until I actually publish which makes it crazy to know where to write??? So I will write it all here and you can scroll down to see the pictures?
We make this dish all the time here...sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for dessert. Start with 8 medium to large apples...I use Fuji or Gayla...peel and slice into thin strips. Place in a large casserole dish with a lid. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top.....there isn't an exact science here...it depends on your taste....I put about 2 Tablespoons of each on mine. Top with 4 slices of butter.
Cover and microwave for 10 min. take out and stir the mixture well....cook for another 10 min. They are done when they are very soft but not mush.....Many times we eat them with our dinner just like this..no topping just the apples..yummy!
You may need to put them back in the microwave if they are not quite ready.
Topping
2 cups old fashion oats(this would be the kind you have to cook)
2/3 cups plain flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar(you can substitute 3/4 c honey)
1 stick butter....softened
mix all together in a large bowl.....it will seem as if it will not mix....just keep stirring and mashing with the back of a large spoon until you have a crumbly mixture.
Using a 9 x 13 pan.....glass or metal....scoop the apples out with a slotted spoon....you do not want all the juice...don't try to drain just spoon over into the larger bowl so that you keep some juice.
Using the back of your spoon, smooth the apples out evenly in the pan. Sprinkle the crumbly mixture all over the top of the apples. Bake for 40 minutes on 375.
We make this dish all the time here...sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for dessert. Start with 8 medium to large apples...I use Fuji or Gayla...peel and slice into thin strips. Place in a large casserole dish with a lid. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on top.....there isn't an exact science here...it depends on your taste....I put about 2 Tablespoons of each on mine. Top with 4 slices of butter.
Cover and microwave for 10 min. take out and stir the mixture well....cook for another 10 min. They are done when they are very soft but not mush.....Many times we eat them with our dinner just like this..no topping just the apples..yummy!
You may need to put them back in the microwave if they are not quite ready.
Topping
2 cups old fashion oats(this would be the kind you have to cook)
2/3 cups plain flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar(you can substitute 3/4 c honey)
1 stick butter....softened
mix all together in a large bowl.....it will seem as if it will not mix....just keep stirring and mashing with the back of a large spoon until you have a crumbly mixture.
Using a 9 x 13 pan.....glass or metal....scoop the apples out with a slotted spoon....you do not want all the juice...don't try to drain just spoon over into the larger bowl so that you keep some juice.
Using the back of your spoon, smooth the apples out evenly in the pan. Sprinkle the crumbly mixture all over the top of the apples. Bake for 40 minutes on 375.
Clean Room?
This is my daughters room? Study time with her cousins in a small space and this is what you get!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Big Dreams
Have you ever had a dream so big that it could only be from the Lord? I love and hate those . I love those dreams because they are so unreal and pure craziness that they could only be from the Lord. The dream that the Lord birthed in my heart over 13 years ago continues to grow but it hasn't happened....thus the reason I hate those dreams. Well hate may be too strong a word :) but it does at times make me crazy....why give me this dream only to make me wait......mine involves an awesome gift that I KNOW I am supposed to give. It is a huge desire to give it and a huge need for the others involved. It isn't that I am waiting to give it.....I am waiting on the Lord to give it to me so I can give it!!! Have you ever had this happen to you? What did you do? How did you handle the frustration of wanting it so badly????
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Freedom
I was talking to my beautiful 16 year old who I am wildly proud of the other night....we were talking about freedom. If the average person were to look from the outside at the way we are bringing up our children they might say...oh my goodness they are so strict....they have too many rules. Rules such as: my kids have never been allowed to do sleepovers with friends.....my kids can't date.....there are many movies and tv shows we do not watch....they are not allowed to leave and roam the neighborhood...we do not just drop them off at the movies or the mall with their friends(Lindsey just started this at 16)...there are many popular books they can't read, no bikini's, no low cut shirts....you get the idea!
I told Lindsey that it was my prayer that they would see that they have GREAT freedom within the bounds we give them. I hope that they will not refer to us as strict. I don't want them to feel stifled. I described it as a beautiful field that they could roam freely inside of...sometimes the other side of the fence looks amazing but it is covered in hidden land mines....so what looks like "freedom" really isn't. Our desire is not to oppress them but to protect them.
Look at God's example of sex....one man one woman for life inside the bounds of marriage. The world says that this is restrictive...there is no freedom to express love and this is too narrow and confining.It isn't realistic! God just doesn't want us to have fun...He is a party pooper!
On the contrary.....look at what He is trying to protect us from(land mines) Aids, teenage pregnancy, STD's, feelings of desperation especially for girls,a feeling that we could never measure up, addiction to pornography, adultery, guilt, shame! What does He want for us.....GREAT FREEDOM within our marriage! Unbelievable sex with our mate! The ability to be free without the fear and oppression of the "land mines." He wants the very best for us!!!!
Lindsey said that she feels like she has freedom. YEAH....She has shown great responsibility therefore she has more freedom...as much as is possible we try to say yes to the things that are within the bounds we have given her(and the rest of the kids) and we also are open to talking through those areas that we disagree about. Sometimes after a conversation we even revise our decision..we certainly are not perfect and we do not want them to feel that it is our way or the highway...how prideful for us to not even listen to our children....as long as they approach us properly...begging, pleading and guilt NEVER work here!
I have probably opened a big can of worms with this post...feel free to comment!
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