Show Grace

I blew it! You know those moments that you just wish you could have a "re-do"....well this is one of them! Emily has been volunteering all week in VBS.....and at night she has been staying and playing freeze tag with the other volunteers....then she is home by 9:30. Well last night 9:30 came and went.....9:45 came and went...so my sister and I went looking for her and her cousin.....nothing....... 10:10...I'm about to be in full fledged panic! My sister asked if I thought they had walked to Wendy's...surely NOT! She is almost 14 she has never gone somewhere without asking me!!

We pulled up and there she was inside with a group of friends. I couldn't believe it....my worry quickly turned to dismay and anger. I walked in and asked her to come outside where I began to explain how worried I was and that I couldn't believe that she would just go without calling. OK I will tell you that up till this point I stand behind my decisions.....then I told her to get in the car...she had lost the privilege to hang with her friends.

So what do I regret.....she has NEVER given me any reason not to trust her.....she serves Jesus all the time by serving others.....she was with a great group of friends...I truly believe that she got caught up in the moment and that it wasn't a rebellious intentional action. Knowing all these things..I should have extended grace...but I didn't! I wish I had! She and I talked that night about all the why's and the importance of calling me and about how we would gladly give her freedoms but that she had to communicate and get permission. The next morning I talked to her and told her why I should have extended grace and that I was sorry. She was awesome and full of her own apologies for forgetting and that she sure hoped she had not lose my trust. All is good but I have to practice what I preach act but don't just "re-act."

Love those babies!!!!

Parenting..chores

Yes, your children should be doing chores. I recently saw a clip of the Oprah show that a friend sent me...it was about a mother who was working full time and her struggle with the HUGE job of doing the laundry. She had a husband and 3 boys...2 college age and one in high school. I watched in total amazement as they brought in a "specialist" to show her how to get a "handle" on the problem. Things like....special baskets so the boys can sort their own laundry....stain stick on the outside of the basket so they can pretreat.....they showed her how to hang her clothes to save time....they put her on a schedule to help her...SERIOUSLY!!!!! I sat with my jaw dropped.....ALL my kids do their own laundry!!!!!!!! Luke is 8 and he is still in the training process so I help him...which means I oversee what he is doing....but the rest of the kids do this all by themselves...that's a novel idea!

I have a chore chart on my fridge divided into days of the week. Each child has a column for each day. Each morning after breakfast they are required to do their chores. It takes them about 15 minutes except for the day that they have to do their laundry and on Saturday they all have a few more chores and it takes them each about 25 min. Remember the last parenting blog about getting your kids in bed early enough to get a good night sleep......well here is where it will show...you can't give them such a small amount of time to get ready in the AM that they don't have time to get this done.

Your children should NOT complain about doing their work...I will deal with this more in another blog.

We do not pay our kids for chores...it is just what you do! I have an "extra" chore basket. I basically go around the house and find those "extra" things that I want done...write them on a card and assign a price that I am willing to pay...they may choose as many as they like to earn extra money. An example..... Clean the ceiling fan in living room(this doesn't require a ladder in my house) including removing the glass light fixtures...washing and reattaching..$3.00

If your kids have never been required to do chores....there will be a season of teaching and training. You can't expect perfection but you can expect them to do a good job or they will have to do it again. But you can't expect to show them once and they know how to do it right.

Below is the list of chores that my kids do....remember they are divided up into daily parts but it will give you an idea of how we do things here.

All children are required to make their beds each morning and pick up their rooms. Each child is given a different day of the week to do laundry and they are required to strip their bed and wash their sheets on this day as well....I help my youngest 2 put the sheets back on their beds. I change the chores about every 3 months so they are not doing the same thing over and over. They all have one night to help in the kitchen...this includes chopping, cooking, setting the table. The first chore listed is a daily chore...whe rest are spread out over the week.

Lindsey 17 Sweep floor in kitchen and dining room daily, including shaking rugs..daily, unload dishwasher, wipe down laundry area, clean girls shower, mop floor in girls bathroom, kitchen help, vacuum downstairs, dust living room

Marshall 14 Empty all house trash cans..daily, un-load dishwasher, kitchen trash, wash clothes, vacuum living room and stairs, clean boys shower and mop boys bathroom (Marshall's schedule is lighter because he cuts the grass once a week.

Emily 13 Wipe down sink and potty girls bathroom daily, wipe down stove and microwave, vacuum living room and stairs, un-load dishwasher, wash clothes, kitchen trash, sweep stairs and vacuum downstairs, dust dinning room, kitchen help

Benjamin 10 Wipe down boys toilet daily, kitchen trash, un-load dishwasher, water plants, shake rugs and sweep boys bathroom, clean all computer and tv screens, wash clothes, sweep back deck help weed eat and blow the yard, kitchen help

Luke 8 Boys sink and mirror daily, kitchen trash wash clothes,un-load dishwasher, kitchen help, sweep front porch and shake rug, move all chairs &wipe down, mop kitchen,

After each meal everyone pitches in and wipes tables and counters, loads dishwasher, washes and dries dishes, sweep

Before bed we all have a tidy to take "stuff" that accumulates throughout the day back to its proper place :)

Parenting..Mornings

Remember these will be short and sweet! If you have further questions ask! I love questions!

* A good morning starts the night before! Lay out clothes and supplies..you do not want to be searching for homework and shoes in the morning. If clothes are already chosen and laid out...it will make your morning smoother.

* Also PUT YOUR CHILDREN TO BED EARLY ENOUGH TO GET THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP! Children are cranky when they are sleepy...so am I! :) This WILL make your mornings better!!

*Wake up before your children....get yourself together. Get dressed...get your coffee..or tea..or whatever gets you going!...Spend a few minutes with the Lord! Pray and ask the Lord to help you in your day....pray for your children and your husband! I like to read a chapter of Proverbs...there are 31 of them so I can read the one that correlates with that day.

*Wake your children up so that they have plenty of time to get ready and "wake-up"...I have many times made the mistake of trying to let them get as much sleep as possible and I push the time too close..I spend my whole morning saying,"hurry up!" If they are in bed on time this should not be an issue!

*Start your kids out with a good balanced breakfast. Parents feed their kids a boat load of sugar filled stuff first thing and then wonder why they are bouncing off the walls and unable to concentrate. Doughnuts, pop tarts, toaster strudels, or canned cinnamon rolls are not a healthy beginning!

*Remember to speak kind and encouraging words to your kids and to your husband in the morning. Don't start the day being short tempered, rushed, or even yelling....that is not a good way to start the day!!

The Ultimate Parenting Goal

I hate long Blog posts....I do not reading them and I sure do not like to write them!! So I am going to break these up into many small parts for my own sake:)

This first post is really central for all the other posts to follow on parenting. The Bible doesn't give a whole lot of instruction specifically on parenting. This is my favorite:

Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

This passage is the lens through which all of our parenting passes. My main job as a Christian parent is to teach my children to "Love the Lord with ALL their hearts...when..... all day in every situation. When I wake up in the morning and I lie in bed praying for the Lord to bless my day...I always ask Him to help me remember that my most important job is to point my kids back to Him.

Over the next few weeks I am going to try to give some practical helps.... but it all boils back down to those verses for me. What drives you as a parent? What are your goals? There will be many days of discouragement when you will need to remember what the goal is!!!

Do toddlers Hit?

Most all of us who are parents have seen our child pitch a total fit! Most of us have even had a child hit us in the face. How is it that a child who has never been slapped can learn that? This even happens in homes where parents do not spank so that argument is null! They all do it! If you have a child who has never attempted hitting, kicking or screaming...you should not have anymore children because it was a fluke and it will never happen again!!!!

I was at the grocery store the other day and a mother was there with her 2year old. The child started screaming. As soon as the mother picked her up she started hitting the mom in the face...now I don't mean she was flailing around and in so doing hit the mother..OH NO she was going for it big time! She was angry and she wanted her mother to know it! Now I was not appalled at the child...as I have said we have all had a child get angry and strike out....no I was amazed at the mother. This was her response, "Honey why do you always act like this when we go out? I know you don't want to hurt mommy. If you don't stop I will not buy you candy" Really...Really...I'm thinking to myself...I can tell you why she always acts like this....because the first few times it happened you did not take swift immediate action to insure that she knows who is in charge!!!!

Common Respect

So last night Marshall was at swim practice....have I mentioned how good he is :) I really think you might see him at the Olympics some day.....maybe in 6 yrs.....he will be 19....yes that would be very exciting! Anyway where was I...... oh yes...last night after practice his coach was telling us what an awesome leader he is......now mind you we want him to lead but we haven't seen anything that we thought really qualified as necessarily "awesome"....so we asked.

The coach told us....."He never complains when asked to swim more," "He swims his hardest every time and does whatever we ask." "He always helps put supplies away without being asked," "He helps the coaches pick up everyone else's trash"


OK......does anyone else find this sad???? I am thrilled that this is the way he behaves...IT IS THE WAY WE RAISED HIM TO BEHAVE!!!!!! It is sad that this sets him apart! These are not over and above things....these are things that EVERY parent should be teaching and requiring of their children!!! What does this say about the state of our children as a whole. Marshall told me last night on the way home......"Thanks for making me do those things...it is paying off now" That sure made me proud! Marshall has sometimes been a reluctant leader and a coaxed follower.....but the last year we have seen a huge difference in him and he is certainly becoming a strong servant leader.....that is the best kind!

Think about Jesus....He is our example of great leadership and He was certainly strong and courageous but He was the greatest example of serving. There was not a job that was beneath him! God help me to be a servant leader!

Beauty and the Beast

OK.....finally I am getting to this post! Beauty and the Beast was wonderful! We have had so much positive feedback!! The kids seemed to have a great time and so did we. We are so grateful for all those who made this happen! Without the volunteers this would not have been a success...Thank you...Thank you...Thank you!! From our friends who were with us to those who put in many many hours prior to the event and then again on the night of BB. Thank you for praying for us! Thank you First Baptist Woodstock for hosting this event!!!! Enjoy these pictures!

The picture above is of the Matt Tillman Band. They did an amazing job!

It is awesome when kids raise their hands in worship to the Lord.

Eric brought Brandon Apon in to do a demonstration....He did a great job!




My honey loves to share the gospel!

Eric and I both did demonstrations showing how to make healthy choices when choosing food.

Oh my goodness...Kari Robertson did an amazing job speaking to the girls. She is beautiful...I love her! She has an amazing voice...I should have had her sing??? She made it all the way to the top 10 in the Miss America Padget??!! I love her testimony!!



I loved sharing with the girls!!!

Smoothie King came and gave out 250 free samples! And the kids were able to sample healthy protein and snack bars.




Publix donated many many waters and my daddy is guarding them!




Here are the kids below hanging out between the sessions and enjoying all the goodies.

This was an awesome night! Subway and Chick fil A donated sandwiches to every kid who came! Amazing! 2 kids made professions of faith that night and many more recommitted themselves to making a difference for Jesus!

Why is our first thought NO!

I am getting better the longer I am a mother...but I still fight it.....that urge for the first response to be.... NO. I am thinking...that is too messy...that is too much trouble...it is too hot...it is too cold. I really try to stop and ask myself....is this really a big deal. I always tell my kids that they are in charge of clean up and they almost always agree that clean up is still worth whatever it is they want to do??? Kids?? We had a really big rain and this is the giant puddle that was created at our church across the street. The kids had a great time until the security guys stopped all the fun...party poopers....although you know they secretly wished their mothers had let them play in such a great puddle!

What is your mindset?

OK so I do not want to come across "preachy" and I do not want to give the impression that all we do here at the Helms house is sit around and pray, talk about Jesus and read our Bibles. We do however want everything that we do to be seasoned with all we know and love about the Lord. That being said.......I received a recommendation from a friend to go and see a new movie that is out. She had rave reviews about it and was sure that I would love it! I came home and looked it up on screen it.....you just scroll to the bottom of the first page and click NO THANKS and it will take you to the next screen where you can find your movie. I scrolled down to the bottom of the page and looked at all profanity and sexual situations. UUUGGGG!!!!!!

This movie hits on many of the things that God hates....sexual immorality, heavy drinking and taking Gods name in vain...repeatedly. You know Hollywood knows how to dress all this up and make it more palatable. The story line is exciting or scary or romantic and suddenly we are hooked. Why are we not sickened by what we see? How has our moral compass become so whacked out? We are supposed to be in the world and not of it! 1 John 2:15-17

I love this passage..."Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise...think about these things." Philippians 4:8 We need to get back to the simple principle that I teach my kids.....if Jesus was physically standing right with you would you still look at....listen to....talk about things the same way....cause He IS right with you! We need to be different!

About 6 months ago my daughter wanted to see a movie that so many others were seeing...I sat her down with the review and asked her to read over the words that were spoken and asked her if she would want to sit next to Jesus while this was playing......I never heard another word about it from her!

Love those Babies!