Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Bad Attitudes

I know that my personality is black and this may seem harsh...but my husband's personality is not black and white....he is much more encouraging and gentle than I am.... and we are totally on the same page on this you can't blame this on my personality!

Bad not accept them!!! Honestly it is that easy! Do my kids ever have them...YES and so do I for that matter! The difference is that they are not tolerated and they are dealt with immediately! We do not accept eye rolling, slamming doors, stamping and stomping, back talking or deep sighing! The instance that we see any of it is dealt with right that second. I might say something like....."I know you are upset but you may not act like that." We do try to give them acceptable ways to handle their emotions but we do not argue with them! If there is not instant compliance there are instant consequences!

When my kids were little I would say something like..."You may not talk to me like that...if you can talk to me nicely or without whining or in a big girl/boy voice...then we can talk...otherwise you may go to your room until you can talk to me properly." I also used this if they were talking to their siblings or friends in an ugly or mean voice.

As my kids have gotten older this is still the same rule...they are not allowed to talk to each other or to us in a mean or disrespectful voice. They are taught to use their words in an acceptable manor to convey their thoughts.....I say to them things like...."Let's try that again." Sometimes I will even say.."Let me show you hoe that sounded" and I will mimic them...and then ask the question....."Is that the way you want to talk or to be talked to??"

So what is the result of older kids...13, 14, and 17 almost NEVER give any attitude..I can't say never because no one is perfect but I will say this...If I ask them for help..If I ask them to do a chore that is not their normal duty...If I ask them to drop whatever they are doing and come to me...THEY DO IT WITHOUT ANY ATTITUDE>>>EVER!!! They occasionally have attitude with each other but almost never with me. It just never has been tolerated. I do not yell at them....I never threaten them...I really do just simply may not act like that or you may not talk like that. I have done that since they were little and they DO IT!

The other day I came down the stairs to find my son..10 speaking so ugly to his sister...I sent him upstairs and I went up to talk to him...I told him that it didn't matter what she did...he could not speak like that and I gave him alternatives that he could have used in the situation but I would not let him "justify" his behavior. I then told him that the entire next day he would serve her. He had to do her chores...he had to clear her plate...He had to make her lunch...get her drinks and speak kind words to her. Along with an apology of course! All was well between them!

SO basically no arguing just do not accept bad attitudes! :)

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