Tuesday, September 23, 2008

FAITH!!

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is impossible to please God without Faith. Have you ever thought about that???? Impossible!! I want to have faith that is mind blowing! I want to live my life in such a way that the only explanation for my life is Jesus. I do not want my life to "make sense" to the world. If the world can explain it then what is the real difference?



I believe that Biblical faith is stepping out when we do not see the "door." I mean is it really faith when we can see everything??? My husband and I stepped out 1 year ago into full time ministry. WOW has it been incredible and scary and amazing! We have seen many people come to know the Lord and many who seem to have been greatly encouraged by the words the Lord has given us. We knew that the Lord made it clear to us that we were not to raise money...don't get mad at me if that is what you do...it's just not what He told us to do. We moved our 401K into IRA's so we could easily get to them and we started serving in all the places that the Lord opened doors. The Lord has allowed us to be apart of some amazing things. The Lord has brought people into our lives who have come along side us and simply said...we want to be a part of what you are doing! WOW!! The Lord is so good! We have used the money from our retirement account to supplement the difference. We are of the mindset that it is all His so it was not a hard decision to use that money.

We are almost at the end of that money....now the real faith comes!!! Will we stand or will we fall. I think about Joshua and the wall of Jericho. I can just see the average Christian today.....Hmmm Lord I 'm sure you if know this but that wall is really thick and high and blowing horns is NOT going to do the trick!......Lord...honestly my friends and family are going to think I am NUTS and you do want me to be a dignified Christian...right? ........Lord I am sure I heard you wrong so I will sit here and wait for you to open a great big door right into Jericho and I will be glad to walk right in! Most of us would still be waiting for the door...thank God Joshua just obeyed!

What have you had to have crazy faith about?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

My Treasure


Oh...I am so sorry...I believe that I said I would post the very next day :( Our very sweet pastor and his wife asked Eric and I to come to the pastors conference that Johnny heads up. We did go and we had a blast!

Last week when I was cleaning out my boys room I ran across a picture that Benjamin made....he is 8. He took the bottom of a banana box and painted it black for his frame and then he painted a picture and taped the paper in from the back. I loved it! I asked him if I could have it and hang it in my room. He was thrilled! Kids love for you to display their stuff. I have framed pictures of my kids work all over my house. There is nothing that I could buy that would be more precious to me! I will try to take more pictures to share with you. Love those Babies!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Uncluttering!

Two of my boys...Benjamin...8 and Luke 6...share a room. I spent most of the day going through it. This is a seasonal event here at the Helms house. I need to get out the warm clothes and put away the summer things. This always turns into a huge undertaking. I clean out their closet, drawers, and toys. Do toys seem to multiply at your house?? I feel like we are good about not buying many toys...so WHERE do they come from???? I threw out 3 garbage bags of stuff. My boys were so excited to see everything so neat and organized. I found a treasure in the room but I'm not going to tell you what it is...I will take a picture tomorrow and post it.

You know in my Christian walk, I tend to get cluttered with all sorts of busyness and worry. I take on things that I shouldn't and my load gets too heavy. I reach a point that I think...Where did all this stuff come from???? It always feels so good to let the Lord clean out and reorganize those areas of my heart!

Love those Babies!...you should check out my daughters blog...I am so proud of her!

http://lindseyhelms1.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Disrespect- Older Children

I have been thinking and praying about this post all day. I felt the desperation in those who emailed me. I am so aware that I can't write a few words and make it all better! I wish I could! I will start with this..and if you read my blog long enough you will see this written over and over again.... Jesus Christ wants the best for you and for your children. He wants them to honor Him in all that they do and you too for that matter! Absolutely the first thing that you need to do is get on your face and ask the Lord for guidance....fast and pray specifically for your child and for guidance as a parent.

Disrespect is not something to be ignored. How many of you have heard these..or maybe even said them......"Oh, she is in the terrible two's"...... "Boys will be boys"......"It's just sibling rivalry"...."She is so hormonal"....."AH...girls and their attitudes"....."The middle school years are awful"..."The high school years are awful"...."I can't wait until they grow up!" We have made excuses for our children's behavior at every stage in their lives. You need to recognize it for what it is...sin. This is a heart issue. I have known parents who let "sibling rivalry" go on constantly...honestly that is just bullying in your home...it is NEVER OK.

Do not allow your children to talk to you or to each other rudely or disrespectfully. We have never tolerated these attitudes here......do we still deal with them...yes! My kids are imperfect people like the rest of us....my teenage daughter...who is very much like her mama...struggles with her attitude. She is an amazing daughter and I am blown away at the way the Lord uses her but if she is upset she has to keep her attitude in check. Just today I had to pull my oldest son aside and talk with him about the way he responded to his younger brother. I asked him if it was Christlike and I asked him what would have been a better way to handle himself and how he intended to make it right. Parenting is definitely a marathon and not a sprint! It takes a great amount of time and patience to do it the right way.

If you are having trouble with your kids I would, after much prayer....have a family meeting with the entire family and discuss the "new rules" which should include how they are expected to respond and what the consequences will be if they do not abide by the new rules. You need to let them participate in this discussion and you should try to understand their view point. You should give them examples of the best way to handle a disagreement. Children should be able to disagree with their parents. They should be able to come to you calmly and tell you that they want to talk with you and they should be allowed to express frustration or even anger. If you do not help them understand how they should go about this...you will see explosions. When they do express this...be quick to hear and slow to speak! We have many grown men and women who were never taught the right way to handle frustration, anger, sadness and many other emotions and boy are the marriages of today paying the price.

Remember a few things...You are the parent!!!! You do not need to be afraid to lead! Training takes time. Look for ways to spend time alone with your children and engage them in conversation. Tell them about areas that you struggled in when you were a kid. Tell them often how much you love them. Look for behavior that is good and praise them. Everyone of us wants others to notice when we are trying to change a bad habit!

I hope that this has helped someone. I will be praying for you!
LOVE THOSE BABIES...even the teenage ones!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Disrespect Part 2


WOW....I have had several emails and 1 post on this subject. I want to start with the toddler stage and then address the older kids.

First let me say that we do not have the perfect family...because there isn't one! We are all imperfect but I serve a perfect Lord and He wants the best for my children....even more than I do!! I have 5 children....one who has had 5 spankings in her whole life...seriously...she is the most obedient child you will ever meet. I also have one child who has, at times, had 5 spankings by the time breakfast hit.......seriously! By the way we believe in spanking. I am not going to go there tonight because this would be way to long...but I will soon give you our parameters on that. I feel like we have had to deal with a wide variety of issues between all the kids.

I do not believe that there is an age that is too young to begin talking about respect and the correct way to treat others. Even children as young as 1 can begin to understand your tone before they understand your words....this doesn't magically happen when they turn 3. In our home it has never been acceptable to whine, beg, groan, complain and certainly not to be disrespectful and rude. Many times we do not see that begging, for instance, seems just an annoyance when they are young but when they get older it seems so disrespectful. It is always disrespectful!!! at any age!!! and you need to see it as such! Did my kids do all these things...you betcha they did! Did I ignore them....NO. When my little ones would whine for something in our house.... I would say, "I am so sorry honey, I can't understand you when you talk like that you need to use your big boy voice so I can understand you." If you do that every time and do not give them what they are asking for until they can ask properly....they will learn not to whine! This is a part of training your children. It is not necessarily a discipline issue every time....just training! Teach them that they are not going to get what they want by begging, whining and certainly not by demanding! Do not yell at your children. You need to speak firmly but in a low or normal voice......if you yell, you are teaching them that you are not really serious until you hit a certain decibel. You want them to listen and obey because you are speaking to them not until you are so angry that you are yelling.

When you see a behavior in your child that is unacceptable, you need to stop whatever you are doing and address this immediately. Call the child to you....bend down to their level ...make eye contact and speak to them about the issue....how to resolve it....and what the punishment will be if it continues. Make sure that your child always apologizes to whomever they were disrespectful to. Here at our house we spend a great deal of time talking about how our behavior is either pleasing or displeasing to the Lord. When my children were little we prayed specifically about their behavior...good and bad....and it does my heart good to see my older children asking me to pray specifically for an area in which they are struggling.

Always praise your children for the things that they are doing well. Sometimes it is oh so hard to find :) but you can always find something to say that is positive. Always tell them how much you love them and that you are proud of them....not for what they do...just because they are yours!

I promise to talk about older children tomorrow...it is late and as I was writing this I was spinning with things that kept coming to mind. There is so much to say on this subject! Love those babies!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Disrespect

I have often heard new moms talk about all the things that their children will "never" do......while those of us who have been around a little longer give a quiet chuckle under our breath! You will soon realize that children will do things that blow the walls off of all that you thought they might do! I can't tell you that my toddler will not pitch a fit but I will tell you what my response will be....EVERY time! Actually we are out of the toddler stage...my 5th child is 6 :( so we are out of that stage for now anyway!

My children pushed the limits, some sooooo much more than others but they all have pushed at one time or another. I can't guarantee that if you will handle things correctly when they are little all will be perfect when they are older but I can tell you that the saying...you reap what you sow....is oh so true! I was at a Christian home school football game Friday night. As I was sitting on the front row trying to watch the game.....well actually I wasn't trying to watch the game I was looking at my incredibly gorgeous husband who happens to be a coach :) ...... a mother and her 16ish year old daughter stopped right in front of me to have a discussion about something they disagreed about....both were quiet but the daughter stood there rolling her eyes at all the mom had to say and finally walked off.

OK...........first......mama, if you need to speak to your children.....DO NOT stand in front of the entire football stadium....this is embarrassing to your child. Secondly...you are reaping what you have sown. When you allow your 3 year old to get her way by having a bad attitude, when you allow your little ones to treat you with disrespect you can count on the fact that they will do it when they are 16 and it doesn't look so cute then! Disrespect should never be cute! I will write tomorrow about some of the ways that we handle this in our house...until then....LOVE THOSE BABIES!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Organize the Bathroom


Well I wanted to pass along a couple of little things that I have implemented over the years that have proven to be time savers for me and for my kids.

I used to find towels all over the place and no one seemed to know whose they were. :( Do you have those same magical little fairies that live in your house, you know the ones that make all the messes that your children did not make??? :) Well my theory is that if you just took a bath, and assuming that you did actually wash....you should be clean...therefore your towel should be clean as well. It should be able to make it through a few baths before needing to be washed...that is unless it is left on the floor....crumpled up and wet!! I took my 3 boys to the store and let them pick out there very own colored towel.......of which they loved doing. My husband made a sturdy thingy (yes that is a real word in my dictionary!!) with hooks . Now I know just whose towels are in the floor and whose are hanging where they are supposed to be!

As I wrote in another post, each of my kids does their own laundry. We kept have a problem with others taking the laundry out of the dryer and putting it on my bed because they were not sure whose it was. So I bought a sheet of magnet paper, (craft dept. at Walmart) and cut it in rectangles and had each child decorate their own. Now when they do their laundry they put their magnet on the door of the dryer so that anyone who needs the dryer can just call that person! Simple and easy fix to frustration for my kids!

Love those Babies!
 
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